Battleship
by Brain Eater Jr
Summary: In an attempt to help Near, Giovanni buys him a new game.


**Battleship**

He stepped out of the elevator, and into the massive, steel coloured office. Everything seemed blue because of the light coming from the many TV sets installed on the walls, on the ceiling, and on the floor. Everything was muted, though. There wasn't much noise in the room – only the buzz of each set, the hum of the aircon, the occasional taps of the keys on the keyboard, and the clatter of plastic toys on the floor.

Giovanni walked past Near's little toy station on the floor, and then to his own station. The young boy didn't look up. Being so absorbed in play as he was, he probably didn't even notice.

Another day at the office. SPK was busy these last few weeks. The groups and the events rushed past them – the FBI guys that helped them before were annihilated; L wasn't L, but rather, Second L; the NPA lost to the Mello Mafia group; the Mello Mafia group lost to the NPA; and a number of things happened with the higher ups in the US government that kept everyone on their toes. Some people are guessing that a coup was boiling somewhere, or that Kira will have a hand at it, or that the President, or the Senate, or the Congress, or everybody will just crumble under pressure and step down from their pedestals, in an attempt to escape death. Not to mention the craziness happening in Japan. It seems that the media reflected nothing but Kira, Kira, Kira. Noontime variety shows were about Kira. Bands, idols and bandols sang for or against Kira. And so on and so forth.

With all the number of things happening in the world, it was a wonder why Giovanni was in SPK HQ, being bored out of his mind. Near had told the three of them to stay put in office for a while and watch the news, but even he knew that nothing substantial will be shown on TV. All the action was happening behind the scenes, and if this goes on, maybe SPK will be left behind.

"Lester, what's going on today?" he asked. At that point, he already spent a couple of hours watching reruns of Kira's Kingdom as aired on Sakura TV, trying to look for anything that stands out. (but actually, he had been playing with a paperclip for more than half the time.)

Lester looked up from his PC. "Nothing today, although I am processing Halle's papers to make it look like she's from the CIA before. She's going to apply as Kiyomi Takada's personal bodyguard."

"Can't I do that? I don't want to watch Kira's Kingdom anymore."

"Sure, if you're willing to cross-dress. Takada only accepts females for the job."

"Aw," muttered Giovanni, flinging the now deformed paperclip on his table. "I know I shouldn't be complaining that Near's taking a 'thinking break' and not making us move so much, but I'm awfully bored. And anxious. I mean, any minute now, the US may find itself without a government, and I'm here, watching some crack Japanese TV show and playing with a paperclip."

Lester shrugged. "Sorry, Stephen. You'll just have to wait. Near's a pretty smart kid, but his moments of epiphany occur unexpectedly."

"Is he having a drought?"

Lester didn't reply; he was already going back to his papers.

"Maybe I should go to Toys 'R Us and buy him a new toy?" asked Stephen. "Maybe he needs something new to have that moment of epiphany again."

The blond man paused. "Maybe. You can ask him and go out during your break. Don't count on being reimbursed, though."

"Really?"

"Yeah. If he doesn't ask for it, he'll assume that you're buying it as a gift. I spend as much money on his toys as my own kid's toys."

"Gee. And you still keep buying him toys?"

"… yeah." Lester gave a soft laugh. "If it's for saving human society, I don't mind spending more than a pretty penny."

* * *

On his lunch break, Giovanni put on his coat and went out of the office to hail a cab. Toys 'R Us was a bit far from the building where SPK was situated, and he may not make it back in time to have a decent lunch -- it took the cab around twenty minutes to make it to the store.

"Gee, you really have to go out of the way to buy toys. Poor Lester. I wonder how he stays so fit, though," he thought as he stepped out of the cab. Through the glass automatic doors, he saw a lot of orange, shelves and shelves full of toys, and kids running around and dragging their harassed-looking parents with them.

Coming in, Giovanni saw lots of things: teddy bears, miniature dinosaurs, Lego blocks, Bratz, Barbies, Play-Doh, Little Tykes playground sets, tea sets, tiny kitchens, collectible toy cars, things with wheels, things with hair, things with magnets, things that lit up randomly, things that talk, things that shake, things that see things, and things with visible organs. He wandered around the warehouse-sized store for ten minutes, and realized that finding a toy appropriate for Near may not be as simple as he thought.

"Maybe I should stick to strategy games. Where are the strategy games?" he muttered to himself. He found a corner with a number of chess sets stacked on top of each other and figured that that must be where they kept the strategy games. He walked there in a daze and tried to find a newer game.

"Chess, Simpsons Chess, Pokemon Chess, Mafia Chess, Final Fantasy Chess, Tom Clancy Chess, even Kira Chess…. Why is this full of chess?" he sighed in frustration. "And I wonder how they designed Kira Chess…"

"You can try this, dude!" a small voice called from his side.

"Eh?" he turned and saw a dirty-looking boy holding a box up to him.

"Battleship," he read on the box.

"Yeah. It looks like something that a boring guy like you might enjoy!" said the boy, grinning, before he ran off laughing.

Giovanni stood there stunned before self-consciously tucking the box under his arm and walking off to the nearest counter. _"Boring?_" he thought to himself in desperation. Oh well. Thanks to that _deus ex machina _moment, he had a toy for Near. And maybe enough time to eat a sandwich along the way.

Stepping out of the elevator, with the box under his arm, a sandwich on his hand, and a victorious smile on his face, Giovanni searched for Near. As usual, the boy was slumped on the floor, whittling a piece of wood with a penknife. It seemed that he was carving little figurines of people he knew – he had a row of little canisters of paint on one side, and standing near these were mini versions of L, Lester, and Mello.

"Wow, sir, that's pretty cool. The likeness is uncanny," said Giovanni. He was still uneasy about using the term _sir _when referring to someone who was almost ten years younger than him.

"Thank you," replied Near, eyes remaining fixed on the piece of wood.

"…" Giovanni looked up at Lester, who was gesturing to him to go on.

"Er. Yeah. Sir, I hope you don't mind, since I didn't tell you this earlier, but I got you a game," he said briskly, presenting the box to Near.

The boy looked up, blinked dully, and took the box.

"So… I hope you enjoy playing with that!" Giovanni unconsciously gave a small bow. (Maybe it's from watching all those Japanese TV shows.)

Near looked at the box, then at Giovanni, and then back at the box. After a very long moment of silence, he spoke. "I can't play with this."

Giovanni froze. "Aw, crap, he doesn't like it," was the thought that played in his mind until Near spoke up again.

"It's a two-player game. I can't play with this by myself."

"Oh," said Giovanni, embarrassed. Without thinking, he said the next thing that came to mind. "I'll play with you, if you like."

Near blinked.

"Uhhh. Or you can play with Lester, like always. I mean, it's up to you, sir."

He nodded. He opened the box and took out the two grids and started dividing the markers for two people. Not knowing what to do, Giovanni just stood there, waiting for Lester to move. It was a pretty awkward thing, interacting with the boss.

"Sit down. You can't play, standing around like that," said Near. He sounded pretty annoyed.

"Ah." Giovanni immediately plopped down on the floor facing Near. He took one of the grids and his share of 'bullets', but realized that he didn't know how to play the game. Near seemed to notice that he wasn't sure of what he's doing and handed him the box with the rules on the back. He was pretty flustered when he was reading the rules, but it seemed like a pretty easy and fun game…

Later, they were ready to play the game. They both agreed that for Giovanni's sake, they'll play the simplified version of the game first. "I'll go first," said Near, twirling a small curl of white hair on his head. "B-7."

_ Boom._A bomb in his head exploded. Giovanni flinched. "Hit," he said, placing a red marker on his aircraft carrier. "F-10."

Near was silent, but he was smiling to himself. Giovanni saw that he reached out for a white marker and placed it on his grid. "Miss," he thought. The game continued like that. When Near sank all of his battleships, Giovanni realized that he only sank one of his, and that it was only by chance that he did it.

"Oh well, no surprise there," he sighed to himself.

"Let's play again. This time, let's make it more complicated," said Near. "For each turn, we get as many shots as the number of ships we have. We don't say if something hits or misses. We'll only say when everything sinks."

Giovanni's eyes were wide the whole time Near barraged him with the rules, but he just nodded. It's not like he'll get a salary deduction if he loses, right?

When they finished setting up their ships, Near again made the first move. "B7. B8. B9. B10. A5," he said.

Two hits on two different ships. Giovanni tried to hide the fact that he put two red markers on his grid. "Okay… my turn. G7. D1. C10. Uhm, A4. F2."

Near twirled his hair. Giovanni could have _sworn _that his eyes widened a bit when he enumerated his shots, but he tried not to get too excited.

The game went on like that. After 4 rounds, Giovanni only had two shots a round left. He only managed to sink one of Near's ships, it seems. And again, it was by pure chance.

"I've been scattered with my shots, maybe that's why I can't seem to hit anything," Giovanni thought. He tried to think how he could have sunk that one ship, took a gamble and shot. "A1. A2."

Near's hair twirling hand froze. Without pausing, though, he shot at Giovanni's ships again. Now he had one ship left – the small, frightened PT boat, sitting isolated near the far end of his grid. But judging from Near's reaction, he may have a chance to turn the game around….

"B2," he said. Again, the same hair-twirling reaction happened, and Near let out a barrage of attacks again. But this time, he only had three shots a round, meaning that he sank Near's PT Boat!

Which probably meant that the reason why it was so hard to sink Near's boats was because they were aligned near the sides of his grid! (Ingenious hypothesis, Stephen!)

Giovanni didn't know how it happened, but somehow he sank two more of Near's ships, and he was getting close to sinking the last one, while Near almost hit his lone PT boat. Now, they were tied, with only one shot a round.

"F9," said Near. Okay. One hit on Giovanni's PT Boat.

"A9," said Giovanni.

Near paused. He looked up at the older man, eyes as big as saucers, and as black as _evil_. Giovanni didn't know whether it was a good thing or a bad thing that they were tied, with him having the advantage of knowing Near's strategy. In an attempt to avoid Near's evil eye, he looked over his shoulder and saw that Lester was watching them from afar, and smiling as if he was holding back his laughter.

"There's nothing wrong with playing a game and winning, but why do I get the feeling that I'm going to be in so much trouble if I do?" he thought to himself nervously.

"F10," said Near.

Miss.

Giovanni paused for a long while, closed his eyes in thought, and called out, "F10."

Near blinked at him. He narrowed his eyes slightly, placed a marker on his grid, and said, "G9."

That sank Giovanni's PT boat. "You sank my battleships," he said, raising his arms in defeat. "I'm the loser."

Near took his grid, cross-checked with his own, and gently pushed it back to him. He nodded. "Yes, you are. Now you get to clean up the game." He turned and went back to whittling his piece of wood, as if nothing happened.

Giovanni twitched. "Oh-kay…" he sighed and started picking out each ship and bullet from each grid. He arranged them neatly, in an almost obsessive-compulsive manner, in their designated places in the box.

When he was done, he realized that he should have been at his desk, watching Takada's show on Sakura TV live from Japan, twenty minutes ago. He stood up and muttered an 'excuse me' before he left for his desk.

Near was silent. He finished carving out the last layers of the hair of the figurine that he was working on, and was carefully chipping off the irregularities of the face.

It was time for Giovanni to take the elevator down so he could move to his apartment.

He stretched and twirled in his office chair to face Lester. "I'm off. Are you working overtime?"

Lester nodded. "I have to sort all the TV shows we recorded today."

"Okay. See ya," he said, walking off.

On the way, he saw Near, stacking a number of DVD cases on the floor, as if creating an impenetrable DVD case fortress. He muttered a small "Sir," as a sign of respect, maybe, before he moved.

But Near stopped him. "Giovanni," he said.

"Yes, sir?"

Near looked up from his small space within the DVD cases. "Next time, do not be afraid of winning. If you are, you'll just be another loser. If SPK has that attitude, Kira will win this battle."

"Oh," he said. "Understood."

As he stacked more DVD cases around him, Near kept speaking. "Please send an SMS to Halle to buy me any puzzle game next time she gets here."

"Understood."

"And finally, thank you for playing the game with me." Near tossed the Battleship box to Giovanni, who caught it. "I don't want to play with it anymore, so you can keep it. Don't bring it here anymore, though."

"Understood," said Giovanni. He waited for Near to say anything else, but again he was silent as he made stacks and stacks of DVD towers around him. Silently, he turned for the elevator.

As it closed behind him, he can't help but smile satisfactorily at his new "possession."

"I could have beaten Near!" he thought gleefully. "I can do the impossible!"

* * *

The next day, Giovanni was surprised to find a folder on his desk. 

"New assignment from Near. You have to go to Japan and investigate this guy, Teru Mikami," said Lester.

"… wow," said Giovanni. "Out of nowhere, just like that? We didn't consider this guy before."

"Yeah, Near had that epiphany moment last night, a bit after you left. Suddenly, he destroyed his DVD city and watched a rerun of Kira's Kingdom, and told me to search for Mikami's background info and to give 'em to you." Lester said, printing out something from his PC and slipping it into the Mikami folder, which was already more than an inch thick.

"Wow. Battleship did him good," said Giovanni. Stunned, he opened the folder and saw a 2 x 2 ID photo of Mikami. "What a creepy looking guy."

"Yeap. You owe Battleship for your new stalking job." Lester winked at him and went back to his own work.

-end-

_Author's notes: First of all, I wrote this out of the blue. I didn't check the manga for consistency with the actual story, so if there are any inconsistencies (like 'OMG so-and-so shouldn't have known this-and-that yet'), I am sorry, and I hope you overlook them. _

_The idea for this was inspired by a certain tidbit in Death Note: How To Read, which lists down 'battleship' as Giovanni's 'like'. I just assumed that it was referring to Battleship, the strategy game, and not Battleship, the videogame, or actual battleships appearing in history, such as those in WWII. _

_I am sorry for the abrupt ending – again, I wrote this out of the blue, and it was so exhausting that I cannot prune out a decent ending from my brain. _

_There isn't enough material on Giovanni / Gevanni / Jevanni (however you may want to spell the guy's name), so, simple as this story is, I provide it! I wish there were more things about the other minor characters, though._


End file.
